A seat in the bus to the end of the road
by Oblivion-Time
Summary: Weddings are supposed to be the happiest day of a couple's life. Maka and Soul comes closer to their big day, but with a different view of involvement and visions for their day are a mix for explosive arguments and wounded feelings.
1. Part 1

**A seat in the bus to the end of the road**

** Part 1**

All different kinds of fabric-tests are scattered all over the coffee table and various wedding magazines laid open, revealing flowers, the altar and various wedding cakes. I sat on the couch while my fingers caress the different textures of the fabrics, the diamond ring on my finger glistered in the light.

"Soul." I called. "Which one do you think will be the better? Silk or cotton?"

He sighed loudly from his seat on a kitchen chair with his laptop in front of him, paying various bills. "Don't know. Chose whatever you think is good."

I pouted. I take the two pieces of fabric and stroll over to him. "Touch them." I held forward the silk piece. "The silk one is a little more expensive than the cotton one, but it looks great on tables and looks luxurious. The cotton one looks good too and feels great, but do you think it will be good enough for our wedding?"

He rolled his eyes and quickly touched the silk before he returned to paying the bill for the hot water. "I don't know. Just pick one. No one cares what kind of fabric the table cloths have." He tapped on the keyboard. "And by the way, you need to take shorter showers. The bill has gone up again."

"Don't change the subject!" I exclaimed. "Soul, this is _our wedding!_ Don't you want to be a part of planning it? Do you even care about our big day?"

About a half a year ago, Soul had proposed to me. He had taken me to the park and on the bridge over a fake pond, he went down on one knee and asked me to marry him. It wasn't the big ask like I had pictured him pulling off, but then again, Soul has always been and will always be a slacker. He wasn't capable of planning and executing something larger than walking to the store and buying a ring.

A part of me was very happy of the proposal, but hearing Liz's and Tsubaki's romantic large proposals had always struck something inside of me. I shouldn't feel bad, I got what I wanted. He put a ring on my finger and seven months from now, I will walk down the altar and tie the knot.

I was very jealous of the two girls since their husbands had been very involved in their wedding plans while mine, he prefers paying _bills_ over planning our big day.

"Lower your voice." His eyes stayed focused on the screen. "There is no need for yelling."

"Yes there is!" I screamed. "Why wouldn't you want to plan our wedding? Is it that insignificant for you? It is supposed to be our happiest day and you are completely shutting yourself out of it!"

He sighed loudly. "For crying out loud. Lower your voice, woman!" Now _he_ was the one who exclaimed.

"Answer my question! Is our wedding so insignificant for you? Why would you even want to get married if it is just a pain in the ass for you?" Tears started to burn my eyes and I crossed my arms over my chest, feeling rejected. "Why Soul? Why?"

This wasn't the first time we fought. It had happened before. Unfortunately, far too many times. It was either about wedding plans, where our honeymoon would be, what hotel we would be living in, what color theme our wedding would be and what church we would get married in. Every time he would tell me to just pick on while he then started to rant about rent, hot water bill or electricity bill. Anything he could throw at my face.

Because of all the fights, we had grown apart. The intimacy we had was gone with the wind and what only exited was a shell of two people. The fights had taken away our everyday life romance and the spark in our relationship. We hadn't even had a passionate kiss since, like, a month after he proposed. We had kissed, but those were more polite goodbye kisses than an exchange of affection.

The thoughts of postponing the wedding has crossed my mind. Multiple times. At the moment, if things were the way they are at the moment, there is no way I can get married to him if our marriage will be as plain as it is now. I don't want to be a marriage with a slacker who refuse to communicate with me and truly be a part of my life.

He growled and stood up from his seat. "I have told you many times already! I don't care where we get married or what kind of reception we have or where we go for our honeymoon! I only care about our future marriage! All I care about is getting married to _you!_"

I rolled my eyes and backed away. "If you truly cared about me and our marriage then you would get involved! Look around! We aren't as romantically and emotionally connected anymore! All we do is fight and we never hug or kiss or even cuddle in bed! We are so disengage as we can possible be!"

"That isn't true!" He grabbed my bicep and pulled me close to him, his arms wrapped around me. "See? We are hugging now and it feels just the same as before. My stomach is full of butterflies and my heart skips a beat." He rubbed my back with his large hand. It does feel nice, but it's way too much angry tension in the air for me to truly enjoy the embrace. We are still in the middle of an argument. "Now if you don't mind, can I continue paying the bills?"

The almost-okay moment had broken.

"Are you serious?" I backpedalled from his arms and looked into his eyes. "After all of the things I said and you can even think about fucking bills?"

"Well, yeah, someone need to pay them."

I growled loudly and ran my hands through my hair. "You are impossible! How can you prioritized _bills_ over _me?!_ Oh wait, I forgot, you have _always_ prioritized material stuff over people who loved you for the asshole you are!"

I hit a sore spot within him.

When he turned eighteen, he had left his parents and severed his ties with them because he didn't want to be like they wanted him to be. He had thrown away a brother, parents and other relatives just so he could pursue an education he wanted when he could have his family on his side even though it wasn't what they wanted for him.

His eyes fired up and his fists clenched. "Take that back." He growled through his teeth.

I crossed my arms over my chest. "No."

"Take that back!"

"No!"

"Take that fucking back!" He stepped toward me and pressed me against the wall and held my wrists. Hard. "You better take that back right _now!_"

For once, fear grew and I feared my fiancé. "No. It is the truth." I said calmly. "You aren't even capable of loving anyone. You are completely emotionally disconnected from everyone."

He looked into my eyes. Going from burning rage to heartbreaking agony. I had called him an emotionless human being incapable of love.

"Soul―"

"I can't fucking stand you." He muttered and backed away from me. He didn't return to his laptop, he went into the hallway and grabbed his leather jacket. He put on his shoes and walked out of the apartment, slamming the door loudly.

I wanted to go after him, wanted to apologize for what I said, but I knew better than to follow him now. We were both hurt and with adrenaline pumping through our veins, no good would come out right now. What we both need is some space to cool down to then reopen this subject and talk it through like adults. Maybe taking up postponing our wedding was the right thing to do at the moment and get our relationship on track.

Yeah, that is what we need to do.

That night, I waited up for him. Waited and waited for him to return from wherever he had run off to. It was usual for him to run off in the middle of an argument, but he would always return two-three hours later. He was gone far too long. I couldn't wait anymore and I fell asleep.

The next morning, he wasn't home. He wasn't asleep next to her or on the couch. He wasn't seated in front of his laptop, paying bills or in the kitchen making breakfast. He was nowhere to be found.

That was very odd.

Worry blossomed in my veins and I tried to call him, but he didn't answer my calls. I called to our mutual friends trying to find him. That was until I called his friend Black*Star I finally hit the jackpot.

"Yeah, he is here." He said.

"Thank god! Is he awake? Is he okay?"

There is a pause. "Yeah, he is awake."

"Can I talk to him?"

"Eh, he is in the bathroom. Don't worry. He was about to leave before you called. It won't be long before he returns home."

A small smile tugged at the corners of my lips and I pressed my hand over my chest. "Thank you Black*Star, please, tell him I will be waiting with breakfast ready." We said our goodbyes and we hung up.

Immediately I started to cook breakfast for a whole army. Pancakes, bacon, eggs, sausages, everything you can name, I prepared for his arrival. I had said some nasty things which I needed to make up for. Food was always the fast-track to his heart.

I took the coffee pot off the stove and placed it on the table when the front door opened. "I'm in the kitchen!" I yell cheerfully.

It took unusually long for him to get inside of the kitchen and when he did, he looked awful. His hair was a mess and his eyes were puffy and purple bags decorated his face. He had been crying.

"Oh Soul." I put down the spatula a turn off the stove. I walked up to him and wrapped my arms around his waist. "I'm sorry for what I said yesterday. You aren't unable to love and you are an amazing person. I was ticked and I wanted us to plan our wedding together. All of those things I said were out of hurt and anger and I feel bad for saying them to you."

He didn't wrap his arms around me. Not a word was said.

I took another deep breath and pressed my lips on his neck. "I'm really sorry. Can you forgive me? I made you breakfast. Your favorite."

"Maka…" he whispered, pulling me away from him. "There is something I need to tell you."

I blink in confusion. "What is it?"

He inhaled loudly. "I…" He gulped. "I… I… did something… awful."

My eyebrows narrowed and I crossed my arms. "What did you do?"

"Black*Star and I… we went to a club… and I…" He took a deep breath. "I… I smoked weed!"

I gasped loudly and covered my mouth. "You said you quit!"

"I know! I'm sorry!" He held out his arms toward me, wanting me to walk in his embrace. "I fucked up! I was just so pissed and the dealer was there and I accepted! I'm so sorry and I promise you it won't happen again!"

"How do I know that is true? What if we argue again and you decide to go smoking pot like some damned high schooler!"

"It won't happen." He stepped forward and wrapped me in his arms, secured me against his chest. "I promise it won't happen again. I fucked up majorly. Please, please, please, forgive me."

I fought back tears. My heart dropped to my knees. Despite the pain from the truth, I sunk into his arms and buried my face in his chest, letting my tears go. "I forgive you." I sniffled and wrap my arms around his waist. "You better not make me regret this."

"I promise you won't be disappointed." He rocked me in his arms and planted kisses on my head. "I'm sorry baby. I'm so sorry. I fucked up and it won't happen again. I'm so sorry." He kept apologizing and murmured words of love into my ear.

That moment was our first moment of real intimacy for several months. I enjoyed his arms around me and listened in on his husky voice whispering love and apologies into my ear. It wasn't long until our lips connected and he kissed away my pain. His hands caged me against his chest and his fingertips caressed my spine.

"I love you." He whispered through kisses, repeating those words as often as he could. He was more than eager to remind me how much he loved me.

My phone started to ring and we were forced to break apart. It was Tsubaki. I answered the phone.

"Hey Tsubaki." I smiled. My lips throbbed from the kiss we had shared.

"You still up for shopping or would you rather make peace with Soul?" She immediately asked. Black*Star and Tsubaki lived together so of course she already knew about his stay with them.

I looked at Soul and smiled. "No, I'm up for it. Meet you in an hour?"

"Sure." And we hung up.

"Sorry." I walked up to Soul and wrapped my arms around his waist. "Girl's day." I kissed him quickly. "I promise we can finish talking tonight and I promise to make it up to you."

There was something odd with him. He smiled shakily at me as he put his hands on my hips. "Okay. Have fun."

I left him to eat his breakfast and drove to the mall where I met up with Tsubaki right on time at our usual store which happen to be a lingerie shop. Tsubaki always had a thing for getting new underwear for her. Sexy underwear. Very revealing and sexual underwear. I don't even want to know any more about that matter.

"Maka!" She smiled wide as she waved at me, running toward me. "Are you ready for some fun?"

I smiled and nodded, but I wasn't quite ready. The thought of Soul spending the night at their place must mean Black*Star knew about him smoking weed, so maybe Tsubaki had noticed something with him as well? I do trust him, but I Just can't let this go quite yet.

We walked inside of the lingerie shop and immediately Tsuabki headed for the leather and collar section.

"Tsubaki?" I said as I followed her.

"Yeah?"

"Did Soul spend the night at your place?"

She nodded while she picked up a leather corset with silver spikes on it. "Yeah, he came to us and Soul and Black*Star went to the bar for guy's talk or something although it seemed to have ended badly consider they were yelling their throats off when they returned late at night."

"What were they fighting about?" It had to be the weed, right? No, it couldn't. Black*Star and Soul may have found each other in high school and weed was their thing, he wouldn't be lashing out on him over a buddle of weed. It would be a moment of "nostalgia" when it was just the two of them and their dealer. I still can't believe I was friends with Black*Star during that time. It is a wonder I even stuck around as long as I did and _met_ his smoking friends. It is unbelievable I fell for that pothead idiot.

She shrugged her shoulders and examined the leather corset, her fingers caressing the spikes on the boob area. "I don't really know. I was barely awake and when I walked out, they stopped and just glared at each other." She put the corset away and picked out another one. "I may have been exhausted and sleep still lingered, but I wasn't an idiot. I swear if I hadn't walked inside then there would have jumped at each other and it would have ended badly."

I raised my eyebrow as she walks along the shelves and looked over the underwear. "What do you think they were fighting about? I mean, Soul came home this morning and confessed he had smoked weed, but that isn't a subject for them to almost kill each other."

"Really?" Her eyes widen. "He did that? Did Black*Star smoke with him? Oh dear, that is _definitely_ not a topic for them to fight so intensely over judging from their background."

"That is what I'm concerned about." I followed Tsubaki as she walked toward the changing rooms. "I fear he is hiding something from me."

"He is always hiding things. Even from you."

"I know, but something more than usual. Something larger that I _should_ know about."

"Maka," She dumped her things inside of the free changing room and grabbed a hold of the curtain, "if you think something is odd, then why don't you call Black*Star and asked him what they were fighting over."

"You know he won't talk to me about it. Black*Star and I might be childhood friends, but he wouldn't reveal a secret. He has never revealed one."

Tsubaki cut of herself with the curtain as she started to change into the sexual underwear. "Then how about I call him? There is more of a chance he tells me _something_ about Soul than you at the moment."

"Do you think it might work?"

"Yeah." Clothes rustle and an arm sneaked out from the edge of the curtain and held out a phone toward her. "Can you find his contact, please?"

"Sure." I grabbed the phone and unlocked the phone, surprisingly it did not contain her usual background picture of her and Black*Star, him kissing her cheek as she smiled wide toward the camera. This background picture was of Tsubaki sitting on a blanket in the green with a camellia bush behind her. "Tsubaki?"

"Yeah?"

"Have you changed your background picture?"

"No. Why?"

"There is a new picture."

"What?" She pushed the curtain away, standing in see-through fabric which barely covered her private parts. "Let me see." She snatched the phone and took a quick look before she groaned loudly. "Oh no! I accidentally took Black*Star's phone!"

"You two have the same lock?"

"Yeah. You know, we have nothing to hide for each other so we changed password to the same as the other." Tsubaki shook her head before she pressed buttons on the phone. "And, I just got a brilliant idea!"

"What is it?" I raised my eyebrow and joined her side, looking over her shoulder at the screen of the phone.

"Remember that time when Black*Star got so drunk at Kid's party in high school?"

Kid. Oh my. My first love. My first kiss and my first date. We had dated in freshman year in high school to junior year when he had to go away. I had been emotionally devastated since I really liked him. It was only a dark night when I walked home and I ran into Black*Star and Soul. It was then Soul had taken it upon himself to collect my broken pieces and got his shit together and in the process I had fallen for him.

"Yeah? Black*Star had documented the whole night with his camera in his drunken state. I'm still surprised the video was so stable even thought he was drunk and high out of his mind."

"It is a thing for him. To videotape things in his intoxicated state. He was drunk yesterday so most likely he did record _something_." Tsubaki opened his files and indeed he had recorded stuff. "Jackpot." Tsubaki clicked on the latest video and at begun with a very drunk Black*Star with a joint in his hand. The loud music muffled his voice as he wobbled forward, his lips moving.

"Stupid. He was just as stupid as Soul." I muttered as the video continued.

"He is going to be in trouble when I get back home." Tsubaki said stiffly, keeping the haywire of emotions locked up inside of her. For now.

Black*Star continued to wobble forward and his hand reached forward to a bathroom door. It swung open and my heart shattered into tiny pieces. The video revealed Soul and their dealer in high school― Soul's ex, fucking each other like rabbits on the sink. Her legs were hugging his waist tightly as her purple head rested against the mirror, her mouth open wide, crying out loudly and mewling in pleasure. Her boobs were hanging out of her top at full display and Soul had his face buried in them, kissing and sloppily licking them. Between the woman's fingers were a joint.

"Fuck weddings." Soul groaned out loudly as his hips slammed hard and fast into her own, his nails digging into her naked hips. "Fuck girlfriends. Fuck commitment." His pants and underwear pooled around his ankles and his jacket lay on the ground and his shirt was a mess.

"Oh yes!" she moaned loudly. "Fuck me! Yeah! Like that!" She mewled loudly and his tongue licked up to her neck and bite down, marking her bare neck as he made hickeys and wounds. "Dump her! Fuck me like this forever!" She panted loudly as her hand tangled in his hair.

"Oh yeah!" he complied and their tongues sloppily joined in a nasty drunken kiss.

I was utterly destroyed. The most intimate part of him was in her most private part. I could see clearly he wasn't wearing a condom.

Tears blurred my vision and I clutched my chest. He had been with _her._ His girlfriend he had dumped a week before he had met me. He had thrown me and our relationship and our wedding away for _her._ He had lied to me and kept her in the dark. He wanted the wedding gone, well guess what, he will get something better, he will lose me too.

Black*Star seemed to sober up in the past ten seconds that went by and he exploded. He leaped toward the couple like a savage lion, ripping at the two and the phone tumbled down to the ground and he yelled and cursed at Soul and The Dealer.

Tsubaki shut off the video and closed the phone. "I can't believe this…" Her eyes were wide and teary. "Soul wouldn't do something like that."

"Guess what," The tears spilled over and I immediately wiped them away, a sob ripped through my throat, "He did."

I turned on my heel and ran out of the store. I bumped into plenty of people, but I didn't care. I didn't try to cover up my tears and my sobs, people were giving me strange looks as I jumped into my car and drove out of the parking lot with tears roll down my cheeks, I screamed out my pain.

It is wrong to drive overly emotional, but I couldn't stay in the parking lot. I drove away on the highway and took turns I had never taken before. I came on an abandoned road and there is where I stayed, crying out my excruciating pain from my heart being broken by the man I loved. The man I had trusted and loved passionately, and he had gone behind my back, smoked weed and fucked his ex, telling her he would dump me and go back to her. Telling her I could go fuck myself and go to hell while he fell back into his old habits.

I breathed fast and deeply as my phone kept calling over and over and over and over again. Tsubaki, Black*Star and Soul blew my phone. All of them texting, leaving voicemails and calls, all trying to reach out to me. I had no plans of reading or hearing them out. I needed to be alone with my feelings.

My hands shook madly as I held them in front of me, the ring I once adored and loved tightly wrapped around my left ring finger now felt like a lie and a prison. I would _never_ even think about cheating on him, and he could go and do such a thing to be because of one really bad argument, it proved enough for me. We weren't meant to be. He was meant to be a junkie sleeping around with his ex, or maybe girlfriend now, while I was destined to be alone and heartbroken by every male that walked into my life.

I needed to return to the apartment. I needed to get my things and move out. There is no way I could ever forgive him for doing such a thing and saying those horrible words. The intoxicated relationship needed to be broken and the wedding and engagement needed to be called off as soon as possible.

I drove around, looking for the highway where I had once been and drove to the apartment where I once called my home. The closer I got to the apartment complex, the tears and hurt aroused again and I sniffles and sobbed, wiping away my snoot and tears with the sleeve of my jacket. When I arrived home, I noticed Soul's bike was gone. Luckily for me, it made it much easier for me to get inside and start to pack my things in a suitcase. Clothes, hygiene products and other important belongings fell into the bag.

I picked up my phone and called Tsubaki, my hands shaking so badly I put it on speaker and put it on the bed as I continued to pack. Barely one peep went when Tsubaki picked up.

"Maka! Thank God you called! Where are you? No one knows where you are and Black*Star is out looking for you and so is Soul. They are both going mad!"

"Tsubaki." I sobbed and inhaled loudly. "I'm at the apartment. Packing. Can I stay at your place until I find an apartment of my own?"

"Of course sweetheart! Do you want me to come and get you? Is there something you want or need?"

"Just a large pack of ice-cream and a bunch of horror movies. I will be there in ten."

"Okay, drive safely. Don't do anything stupid."

I sobbed and shook my head. "I won't." I hung up and put the phone down in my pocket. I zipped the suitcase and just when I got it off the bed, the front door slammed open and I flinched violently.

"Maka!" Soul called. "I swear to God I can explain!"

I walked out of the bedroom and he stormed up to me, his hands lashed onto my shoulders. "There is nothing to explain!" I yelled, tears rolling down as waterfalls. The touch of him which had always soothed me, but now, only pictures of his hands digging into The Dealers hips.

"Please Maka! I was drunk out of my mind and she was there offered me weed and I really needed an escape and we talked and it happened! I'm so sorry I never meant to hurt you and I wanted to tell you this morning but I chickened out! I swear to God I was going to tell you tonight about it! I didn't want you to find it out like this!"

I snapped my eyes up from my feet and pierced his equally soaked eyes. "When were you going to tell me?! At the altar on our big day or maybe when I was in labor giving birth or fucking when we sat on a porch watching our grandchildren run around?! I can't believe you would do something like this! You threw us away to go back being a junkie with your Dealer?!"

He shook his head madly as his nails dug deeper into my shoulders. "No! NO! I never wanted to hurt you! I never wanted to throw us away! I want you more than anything! Please Maka, please, please, _please!_ Just give me a chance to explain myself and―"

"And _what?!_ To hear more lies from you?!" I slapped his hands away from my shoulders, looking into his bloodshot eyes. "You said our wedding, commitment and _I_ could _fuck off!_ You made everything_ very clear_ what you wanted and not wanted."

"No, no, no! It was the weed, alcohol and sex talking! I want _you!_ I have only wanted _you_ and I will always want only _you!_ I don't want _us_ to end! I want marriage and I want kids and I want _everything_ with _you!_ Please Maka, please, please, please, _please!_ Don't leave me! Please, just stay." He bawls his eyes out and collapses on his knees and rests his forehead on the floorboards of the apartment. "_Please!_ Just give me a chance to prove myself! Think about all the good about me, think about the happy moment we have shared. Remember that time I proposed to you and confessed my love to you, think about that. _Please,_" his hands hugged my feet as his lips planted kisses on my shoes. "Just don't leave me! I promise I will do better! I promise I will be two times more romantic and I promise I will be ten times more engage in our relationship and I promise to love you a thousand times more than I did!" His tears soaked my shoes. "Just _please, don't leave me!"_

I watched him bawling his eyes out on my shoes. He begged me to stay with him and give him a chance to redeem himself.

I took off the engagement ring off my finger and dropped it on the ground.

His eyes quickly darted to his ring he had given me and if he was devastated before, he was utterly destroyed now. He cried out loudly and gripped the ring in his hands and breathed heavily and fast.

"I didn't feel your love." I said, stepping out of his cage of arms and walked pass him. "Not in our everyday life or even when you proposed to me. You never went the extra length to show me how much you loved me. You're like a dog with a bone. He is completely uninterested in it and when it is threatened to go away, only then you fight for me. I don't deserve a man who is disconnected and uninterested in me."

I walked out of the front door and the loud last please of me to return was cut off, but the pain followed with me.


	2. Part 2

**A seat in the bus to the end of the road **

**Part 2**

The pain stayed there. Hours of crying turned into days and days turned into weeks. Not one single day went without tears being shed because of the albino ex-fiancé of mine. He had come over on multiple occasions, trying to talk to me and Black*Star send him away every time. After his visits, flowers and chocolate came. A Dozen perfect red flowers every day with a note attached which said _"I'm sorry. I love you to the end of the world. Xoxo Soul."_ I hated the gifts. Every time the doorbell rung and the delivery came, it always sent me into a crying frenzy and the torment, pain, agony and the memories of him and The Dealer always came to my mind. The romantic flowers and my favorite chocolate being send to me every day.

Black*Star had enjoyed the chocolate at the beginning since he was always the one eating them and throwing away the flowers, two weeks in he had snapped and gone over to Soul's apartment. The deliveries had stopped and instead texted came to my phone, the same as the messages he wrote on the flowers. That was easier to take care of since I could block his number.

Soul used every possible way in order to reach out to me. Social networks, letters, messages he had written on the window on the apartment in the middle of the night, sending people over to talk to me about accepting him. Everything. Not a single day went by without him trying to reach out to me. Not a single day without me having a meltdown because of the ordeal I had witnessed on Black*Star's phone.

Black*Star had confessed of knowing about Soul and The Dealer and told me he was going to come to the apartment that same night and show me the video because I deserved the truth. Soul had begged him not to show me the video and he had given him twenty-four hours to tell me about what happened or else he would come and tell me himself. I had forgiven him since he had good intensions and it wasn't his fault Tsubaki accidentally taking his phone. I didn't hold a grudge toward anyone of them.

Two and a half months later, I found and apartment for myself and Tsubaki and Black*Star were more than supportive to give me spare furniture they had so I could live in my apartment. They gave me a bed, a table, two chairs, a couch, silverware, plates, glasses and other kitchen necessaries.

One week later the unbelievable had happened.

"K-Kid?!" He stood there. My first love. More beautiful and handsome than I could remember.

"Maka." Gentlemanly he grabbed my hand and planted a kiss on it before his golden eyes looked up into min. "It is nice to once again bask in the beauty of your presence."

I had totally forgotten how it was being with a gentleman. While Soul had only done small romantic gestures very rarely. Like when I dressed up, he only commented I looked nice. Not ever when I woke up like a mess or in our everyday life. Once he had left behind a note in a movie case, a romantic move case. The note said _"You need lovin'? Ask me and I will be more than happy to show you some lovin "_ With that, he meant sex. No romantic or emotional connection, only physical.

Kid was oozing off romance. He showered me with compliments and when I was at my worst, he was complimenting on my intimate beauty, beauty he would want to capture in a box all for himself. Not just with the compliments, he came bearing gifts. White Lilies mixed with Daisies, my favorite combination of flowers. The flowers only made my heart clenched with hurt, reminding me about Soul's red roses. He sent me _roses_ when he knew I clearly liked Daisies and Lilies better. It agonized me even more, realizing how dysfunctional the relationship was. The wedding was supposed to bring people together, but it had only torn us apart, shown me a side of Soul I didn't like. One really bad argument would send him to the bar to get drunk, high and fuck some chick to then return and keep it a secret from me while I made a fool of myself, feeling guilty over what I had said and made up for it when he only pretended like everything was fine.

But with Kid, he was something extra. Like the vanilla in my cocoa and my conditioner to my shampoo. After the kind of relationship Soul and I had, it felt like I needed to be close to Kid. Like I carved romance and that kind of emotional intimacy. I was starved and Kid was the only one who could still the emotional hunger.

Kid came over to my place every day work was over and we ate dinner together and cuddled up on the couch, talking about our lives. I told him about Soul and his recent cheat. I told him _everything._ About the faults in my relationship with Soul and about the hurt I had experienced and my wish to take things up once again with him. He had agreed, how he too wanted to start dating me. I had thought he would kiss me then, but when he left, he respectfully kissed my cheek with a promise of taking me on a date on Friday.

The bliss of finally reunite with my first love didn't last long. Not until Soul found out about Kid and I.

He banged loudly on my front door, yelling and screaming and begging me to open the door. I was already dressed up in a fine purple dress with sequins decorating the hems.

I opened the door and he burst inside. "Please tell me it's not true! Please tell me you are _not_ together with that― with that― _Runner!_"

I crossed my arms over my chest and arrowed my eyebrows. "It is none of your business. How did you even know I lived here?"

"It _is_ my business!" He exclaimed and grabbed a hold of my shoulders. "You're making a mistake! Remember how he just walked away from you in junior year? He will do it again! He will just hurt you!"

"At least he won't cheat on me." I pushed him by the chest and fisted my hands. "He loves me and he does respect me and he does appreciate me. He shows me he still loves me through all of these years and I do like him." I threw the words like knifes. It was visible, for every word it was like a punch to his gut and tears welled up in his eyes. "I would rather take the chance and trust him than turn him away and be miserable for what _you_ did."

He stood still. His eyes wide and tears rolled down his cheeks. He wasn't ashamed for showing his tears for me. "I fucked up." He said. "I fucked up in the worst and sickest way possible. It was _me_ who picked up the pieces of you when _Kid_ broke your heart. It was _I_ who was always there for you. And I'm still here."

I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms over my chest. "Like I would ever go to _you_ for comfort. You are unable to sooth anyone's pain."

"I may not be the first person of your choice." He walked up to me and his hands on my shoulders. He didn't held my shoulders hard. He held them softly as his thumbs caressed the exposed flesh. "But I will still be here. My door will always be open for you and I will be here for you when he breaks your heart, because he will break your heart. He will use you and when he gets tired, he will throw you away like he did in high school."

"He is a better man than you. He won't do it."

He did not replied to it. "I love you." His hands released my shoulders and enveloped me in his warmth. "I always will." He inhaled my scent shakily and deeply.

I shuddered. His smell far too familiar and far too good for my own good. His tender arms hugged me lovingly and I could feel his affection and love toward me oozing off his body. My fingers tingled and I wanted to wrap my arms around his waist and burst out in tears, telling him to promise me to never do such a horrible thing to me again and love me like never before and to never ever leave me. I'm too deep. Too far away to go back to him. He may be what I want at the moment because of our past, but Kid is what I needed.

"You're always going to be my number one girl. You'll always be my girl in my mind." He pulled away from me, leaving soaked spots on my bare shoulders. "You look really beautiful by the way. I'm just sad it isn't for me." I let him finish. He leaned forward and his lips kissed my head. My hands on pure instinct reached out for his jacket to pull him closer, but then froze and dropped them down to my sides. "Even though you are with Kid," he pulled away from me and tugged at his collar and revealed a silver chain with my engagement ring hanging in it, "In my mind, you will always be with me. You will always be in my heart."

Oh God! He kept the ring! Around his _neck!_ My heart raced and I gulped loudly and I knew if he stayed long, I would break down and asked him to stay and hold me the rest of the night.

"Goodbye Soul." I whispered and looked away from him, tears prickled at my eyes.

He leaned forward again and pressed his lips against my cheek, way too long for my liking, because I liked it far too much. He then pulled away and walked out of my apartment for good.

It was over. It was finally over. He had finally accepted we were over and gave me the space I needed to pick up things with Kid. It was just, when he came and picked me up and brought me to the fancy restaurant, I could only think about Soul and comparing him to Kid. Soul had never brought me to any expensive restaurants. For dates we had taken a stroll in the park and shared a cotton candy or chilled at home watching movies. Never had Soul and I done something larger, taking the step further.

Kid had pulled out my chair and held doors open, something Soul hadn't done either. I should be feeling loved and the tingling in my stomach, but I could only picture Soul doing the same and only the fantasy brought out the desired feeling, only they were tenfold. My stomach twirled like a ballerina and my body heated up. Oh, why couldn't Soul have done something like that? Why couldn't _I_ have done something to spark the romance intimacy between us? All I had thought about was creating the perfect day for us, with Soul. In the end, we bad both ruined the engagement. Me pushing and tugging at Soul, he may have dropped the bomb, but I do have some ownership in the breakup.

I couldn't think about Kid. When he took me back to his home, he kissed me. It was nice, feeling his lips on mine, but they didn't make my body go haywire like Soul did. Even though when I hated what he did, his kiss on my head and cheek drew more feelings out than his kisses on my mouth.

His hands wandered over my body, taking the zipper in his hands and started to pull it down. My dress soon tumbled down to the floor and I was left in my underwear, feeling the cool air hitting my skin and the uneasy feeling only grew.

Kid ripped off his shirt and his hands attacked my bra, massaging and rubbing, only his touch didn't bring out anything. We had never had sex or touched or seen any of each other's private parts since we wanted to wait till we were eighteen. He would be the second guy I was with. I wasn't okay with it. I didn't want it. At least not now.

"Kid." I grabbed his hands off of my chest and held them in my hands. "We are going too fast."

He cocked his eyebrow questionably. "Too fast? We dated for almost three years in high school. We know each other. This can't be too fast."

"Yes it is." I released his hands. "I'm still hurt from what Soul did. I'm still hurting and I'm not ready to start things off with another guy. Please, if you truly love me, then wait for me. I need to handle my feelings and maybe one day in the nearest future we could be together for real."

He sighed loudly, backpedaling and taking a seat on the bed behind him. He rested his head in his palms and his elbows on his thighs. "I can't. I'm sorry, but I'm going on a business trip in a week."

In that moment, I realized two things. One, he had no intentions of starting a relationship with me, all he wanted was sex. Two, Soul was right. He had intentions of using me to then leave me.

I felt cheated on. Not to the length of the kind of cheat Soul did, it was more like a cut on the fingertip. It didn't hurt me, I was ashamed for giving him a chance when I should be alone and working on myself.

I raised my hand and slapped his cheek hard before I quickly got dressed and walked out of the house.

Months went by and it had now gone a little over six months since the day inside of the lingerie shop. The day I found out about Soul's infidelity. I was living my life alone from a male companion. I still had mixed feelings about Soul, which I was dealing with every day. I threw myself in my work and went out with Tsubaki regularly to have someone to talk to about Soul. I knew Soul had been hanging out with them too since one day when I visited Black*Star and Tsubaki, Black*Star was on the phone with him.

Tsubaki came out and told me she was pregnant, and she had asked me to be the godmother. _And_ she had told me she had invited Soul to their "Celebration of Fertility." She wanted both of us there since we were both close friends she would want to have with her. She had begged me to come even though he would be there, and I had accepted it. I couldn't be selfish and walk away because he would be there. We were adults, we could act civil around each other.

A week before the Celebration of Fertility, or CoF like Black*Star called it, my car suddenly broke down so I had to take the bus to work and back.

The bus was empty except for me and the bus driver in it. It was already dark outside and I was exhausted for working another night overtime. The ride was soothingly and I kept my eyes closed, resting as much as I could.

The bus slowed down before it came to a halt, picking up another passenger. The sound of the rough voice of the male bus driver was distance as I kept my eyes closed, almost falling into a deep sleep.

"Maka?"

I opened my eyes and met red ones. It was Soul. He was different. His hair was longer and he had grown a beard on his jawline. He hadn't been shaving for a while and dark bags decorated under his eyes.

"Soul." I whispered, still stuck in awe at the sight of him. I hadn't seen him in months.

"Um," He looked at the bus driver before his gaze returned to me, "Can I sit beside you?"

Without verbally answering him, I moved my bag from the seat for him to take.

He took the seat beside me and tangled his fingers together. His eyes looked forward as I looked out of the window again. We sat in silence. No one said anything. Our shoulders occasionally touched when the bus turned.

After all of these months, my heart still speed up and my fingers tingled, wanting to reach out for his hand and take it in mine. I wanted to lean toward him and rest my head against his shoulder like I had done so many times. I wanted him to wrap his arm around my shoulders and hug me like he always did when I caught him making breakfast in the morning. I wanted to smell his cologne and drift into the world of the past, the memories when we were together and everything was fine. No weed trouble. No Kid trouble. Just us. Happy.

"So," he cleared his throat. "Why are you taking the bus, if I may ask?"

"Car broke down." My eyes stayed on the outside of the bus, watching as buildings and street lamps went by. "You?"

"Battery died." And silence fell over us again before Soul took the initiative to talk again. "You cut your hair."

Oh yeah, I had. I cut off my long hair to my shoulders and kept the bangs. "Yeah. You saved yours."

"Yeah. Didn't really feel like cutting it."

"You grew a beard."

"Yeah, thought it might be cool."

We still didn't look at each other. "If you ask me, I think you would fit better in sideburns if you want to rock the long hair. Girls love guys with long hair and sideburns."

"Do you?" For the first time, he turned toward me and I could feel his eyes looking at me.

"I have always preferred shorter hair and a smooth face." I didn't me his eyes.

"Like Kid?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "I guess."

Silence once again fell, but Soul was certainly not quiet. His clothes rustled as he squirmed in his seat as if he had ants in his pants. "Are you coming to the CoF this Saturday?"

I nodded. "Yeah. Tsubaki want me there, then I will be there. You?"

"Yeah. Black*Star threatened to confiscate my bike if I didn't come."

"You think it was him who ran your battery out?" I asked, turning toward him, his eyes met mine. "I mean, maybe like a taste of how it would be like if you didn't come."

He nodded and he unclasped his hands, putting them on his thighs. "Yeah, I think so too." The conversation had hit another dead-end. No one looked away from the other. I looked into his ruby eyes. The last time I had looked at him, those eyes were twisted in pain and tears had flooded down his cheeks. Hurt. Pain written in his eyes and sorrow carved into his skin.

"How has your life been then?"

"Oh," He bit his lower lip, "It has been a rollercoaster. Caught chlamydia―"

My eyes widen. "You caught chlamydia?!" I exclaimed in shock. My heart sunk to my stomach and unwillingly I felt cheated again and worried for his well-being. Two completely opposite feelings battling out. Worry of course had to win.

"Relax." His hand grabbed mine and gave it a squeeze. My eyes looked to our hands before I looked back into his eyes. It's just like before. When worry creeped up on me, he would grab my hand and squeeze it. It's so familiar. "I've been treated. I'm clean now. I wasn't surprised. Blair spreads her legs for anyone and I was stupid for interacted with her. I did deserve the disease and I'm just lucky I didn't catch anything incurable."

Blair. The Dealer. I remember as if it was yesterday.

"Did she…" I gulped. "Get pregnant?" I didn't want to know. Soul wasn't of any of my business and I didn't even want to know if she was―

"She tried to trap me at the beginning, saying she was even though I never… you know… the chances were slim and the truth came out she wasn't ever pregnant."

I sighed in relief and squeezed his hand. "You dodged a bullet." Oh, I do not want to release his hand.

"Yeah. I did." The corner of his mouth twitched and I swear I imagined it, but did he move closer to me? "What about you? What have you done all of these months?"

"Nothing really. Worked. Hung out with Tsubaki and Liz. I'm actually planning to travel to Rome to check out the food and European culture."

"With who?"

I pressed the stop button since my stop was close now. "At the moment it seems like I will travel alone. Tsubaki is pregnant and therefore won't want to travel, Black*Star would be glued to her side and Liz can't because of her kids."

The bus started to slow down and came to a halt. I got up from my seat and our hands separated to my disappointment. He moved out of the seat so I could get out.

"What about Kid?" He spat out the name.

"Oh, he and I are over. You were right." I moved pass him. "I will see you at the Celebration then, bye." I left a stunned Soul behind on the bus and I got out. The cool air hit my skin as I tightened my jacket around me, the bus drove away. The snow beautifully danced down from the sky as I started to head toward my apartment.

"Maka!" I turned around and I saw Soul throwing himself out of the bus and ran toward me. "Wait!" His feet hit the fallen snow and up to me. "I forgot," He panted, "To tell you, to give me your bank account numbers so I can return money to you from the wedding."

I smiled at him. "You didn't have to get off the bus for that. You could have told me at the Celebration."

He smiled sheepishly at me. "Okay, you got me, it is dark and I don't want you to walk alone."

I blinked. "What about you? Your apartment is at least four miles away. You can't walk home in the dark either."

"I will take a cab. Don't worry about it. I will be fine." His hand took mine and gave it a gentle squeeze. Oh dear, my heart is melting.

We started walking home toward my place, hand in hand. The silence was comfortable, just like lying on a bed of the softest material and silk sheets wrapped around me. There is nothing I would rather do right now than to hold his hand and stroll around in the dark like how we always used to do. Going through parks, hearing Soul complain about the weather or the sweet gestures he did like walking around puddles with me so my shoes wouldn't get wet. Of course, he did complain about the detour, but he still did it.

"So, you and Kid are done?" Soul asked.

I have a feeling he just recklessly stopped the bus just to come to me because of the subject me and Kid not being together.

"Yeah, I told him I wasn't ready for a relationship and he wasn't ready to wait for me." I said, swinging our entwined hands, his smooth and long fingers in mine. How I had missed this. "It didn't hurt. I mean, we weren't really in a serious relationship. It wasn't hard walking away from him."

"I'm glad you weren't hurt." He looked at me, his nose and cheeks turning slightly red from the cold. "I mean, it is a shame it didn't work out―"

"Oh shut up, you are happy it ended, you don't need to pretend." I playfully tackled my shoulder into his.

He smirked wide. "Oh yeah, I'm more than pleased it is over. You are single, right?"

I nodded. "Yeah, have been for a couple of months now and I have no plans of changing that statues any time soon." My apartment complex started to come into view to my frozen toes pleasure. "I still have feelings to take care of and I'm not in need of a boyfriend or anything. Right now, alone is where I need to be."

"Maybe you are in need of a boy friend."

I raised my eyebrow. "I just said I'm not interested."

He chuckled. "No, no." We started to walk up the stairs to my front door. "I mean, a guy friend."

We reached my floor and we walked down the hallways, leading to my front door. "I already have Black*Star."

"Maybe you need another one?" We both stopped in front of my door and he stood so close to me, definitely too close for my comfort. I want to grab a hold of him and reel him close to me.

Yes! No! "Maybe." I smiled and looked down at our hands. "I don't know."

"Can I call you tomorrow? You know, maybe going out for a cup of coffee or something."

Coffee? With him? Oh, my heart is speeding faster than a high-speed train.

I should refuse. I know I should refuse. He had hurt me badly and who knows if he would do it again. "Okay." But I couldn't refuse. I don't hate him, I hate what he did.

He lit up like the sun. "Great. I will call you then." His hand slipped from mine and he started to back away. "I'll see you, Maka." He turned around and started to walk toward the stairs.

My heart started to speed. "Soul!"

He turned around and he looked at me with the softest of eyes. "Yeah?"

I gulped loudly, trying to calm down my racing heart. "Can you call me tonight when you get home? I just want to know you got home safely."

He smiled softly and nodded. "Of course, as long as you have unblocked my number."

I nodded. "Right."

He waved again and continued to the stairs. I fished up my keys and started to unlock my front door, I watched Soul's white hair disappear down the stairs.

I bit my lower lip. I didn't want things to end like this between us. We are on the right track of becoming friends, but I do not want him to walk away from here. Not in the dark. Maybe not ever. Even though the whole scenario, I still loved him with passion and I wanted him. I wanted to give him another chance.

I left the keys in the lock and darted to the staircase. "Soul!" I crashed into the railing and looked down the staircase. "Soul!"

His head peeked out up from the stairs, two levels down. "Yeah? What is it?"

"Are you single too?" I looked at his face, my hands tighten on the railing.

Slowly he started to head up the stairs again, not breaking eye contact. "Yeah. Never went on a date or kissed a different girl since you left me."

"Have you smoked since it happened?" I could feel tears pour up in my eyes. Joy and relief and the emotional vortex of mixed feelings shook my body.

"No. I don't have any plans of every doing it again." He walked up another level toward me.

"Do you still want me? Do you still love me?" A tear drop rolled down my cheek and dropped down through the staircase.

"Yes. Oh yes, hell yes. Of course. I love you! I only have eyes for you!" His steps grew quicker as his eyes grew larger and hope glistered in his eyes.

I gulped loudly and my throat ran dry. "I love you, please, take me back."

"Idiot." He broke out in a full sprint up the stairs and our eyes tore away as he focused on run up the stairs to me and soon, only a few steps separated us. "It is I who should be asking that."

"I want you back." I ran down the last step as he ran up the last toward me. I threw myself down the steps and he caught me, our lips meshed together and the frozen heart of mine suddenly shocked with warmth and love. The same heart that was frozen since I saw that video. His lips moved chaotically against mine, communicating love, affection and a long-term commitment to me and me only. His hands held me so tightly against him, locking me against him forever and I didn't mind since I tugged at his neck, pulling his face closer to mine as I angled my head to take him deeper into my mouth. Our tongue danced the waltz of love and affection. It was months since the incident, but we hadn't had such a heated kiss for more than that.

"I love you." He murmured with his tongue still in my mouth and his hands pressing on my back. "So, so, so, so much." I could barely make out his words with his tongue in my mouth and my mouth moving eagerly on his.

I could stay here forever, in his arms, his mouth on mine and his tongue gently massaging mine. I loved him, terribly badly. There was just a slight problem.

I broke the kiss and rested my forehead on his, standing a step taller than him. "Your beard is itching."

His eyes blinked and he broke out laughing. "That's why you don't like beards?"

I blushed and nodded, my arms still tightly wrapped around his neck. "I'm not ready to jump back in our relationship like nothing happened." I whispered. "I want to take this slow and build up my trust for you again. I might have forgiven you, but I certainly haven't forgotten."

"I understand. Can I officially call you mine?"

I kissed his forehead and held his head in my arms. "Yes. Don't make me regret this."

He kissed my neck and his arms tightens around me. His lips planting kiss after kiss on my exposed neck, sending shivers down my spine, only reminded me it was a _long time_ since we had been intimate. My thighs quivered in excitement, but I wasn't going to go after my need and lust.

"I won't break your heart or your trust." He whispered between delicious kiss and joyful nip of my skin. "And by the way, would it be wrong for me to propose to you on our first date?"

I pulled away from him and playfully punched his shoulder.

"Alright!" He chuckled. "I get it, I won't do it." He exposed his sharp teeth in a playful smirk. I had never seen him this frisky before, well, maybe in our senior year when we had sex for the first time. He was extra happy and very much sexual playful. He was like a secret spy on a mission to seduce me into bed and oh damned had he succeeded plenty of times. He knew my body inside out and exactly what would push me over the ledge of no returning on sex. "That is, if you don't want me to propose."

I giggled and playfully swatted his ass, ushering him inside of my apartment. "Be careful with what you say or you might sleep on the couch tonight." I did not have any plans of sharing a bed with him. I knew if we would share a bed, we would sleep together and I'm not ready to take that step again. It was just fun giving him a little slim chance of hope just for him to end up on the couch. Maybe we would make out a little before we went to bed. I have missed those lips of his and we have some lost time to catch up on kissing.

He had made a mistake when he was drunk and high and I knew he would _never_ have slept with her if he was sober. I love him and I hate what he did. If he plays his cards right, he might have me back in the apartment again at the end of the year.

**EXTRA SCENE**

_Two years later._

I giggled madly as Soul pulled me forward with a large grin on his face. "We are really going to do this, aren't we?"

Soul nodded eagerly as he turned around and brought his lips on mine as he backed toward the building which is our destination. He kissed me quickly but did not hesitate to show me the love he holds toward me. "Getting cold feet?"

I shook my head and wrapped my arms around his neck, his hands immediately latching onto my hips. "No, just wanted to make sure this is what you want." I rest my forehead on his as I angle my head. You never know with Soul, maybe he would feel like making out some more before we walked inside.

"Hell yes. You know the only part I care about is saying our vows and finally putting a ring on that gorgeous finger of yours." I was right. He angled his face and all he needed to do was lean down and a make out session would begin. In public. A little PDA had never killed anyone. "The question is, is this what you want? It was you who grabbed the ring and started to drag me toward the court house. Are you sure you don't want the big wedding? You know Tsubaki, Liz and Black*Star will flip out for us to sneak away and get married in secret. You know how Liz and Tsubaki have prepared themselves and burning the baby fat just so they would look good as bride's maids."

Oh how I wanted to rise and kiss him. He was adorable. "I just want to marry you already. I couldn't care about a big wedding and the dress and the cake. All I want is to get married and catch our plane to Rome."

His eyes lit up and I could detect hunger and tons of tons of love dancing in his red eyes. "Let's do this then." I seriously thought he was going to kiss me. Instead he pulled away and started to drag me. "Let's get married at the court house!"


End file.
